I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
