Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
