so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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