I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Sober January is a disaster.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
