He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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