She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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