now i know why i became what i already was.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
