She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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