..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
