you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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