I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
