How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
