I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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