Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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