Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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