i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
