The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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