i jhust puked up my retainher.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
