Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
