why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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