dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
