did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
