Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
