bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
