...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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