I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
