Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Boobs are out for the taking
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
