If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
