I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
