All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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