Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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