Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My bed smells like the plague
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
