My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
