We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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