i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
