I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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