My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
