I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
