i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize