just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
