I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
