I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
