Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She just used a chaser for red wine.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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