would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
