oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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