my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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