Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
