garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I would ride that face into the sunset
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
