so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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