Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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