We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
