I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
