is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
