I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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